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Part 2: Holding the Mirror: Building Self-Awareness for True Accountability

Tonya Cox

November 18, 2024

In our busy lives, we often put everyone else’s needs above our own, assuming we’re just “getting through the day” or “doing the right thing.” Yet, we might miss the opportunity to develop self-awareness, a foundational skill for personal growth and accountability. We believe that becoming self-aware empowers us to reclaim our lives, not just for our own benefit but also to enhance our relationships and show up fully for others.

The Challenge of Facing Ourselves

Self-awareness sounds simple, but it’s often avoided. We stay busy with helping others, telling ourselves that, “My kids need me more,” or “My partner had a rough day.” When we repeatedly ignore our own emotions, we risk losing touch with ourselves. Those feelings of frustration, sadness, or exhaustion only grow louder until they affect our relationships or well-being.

Natasha shares, “I remember a time when I was so focused on taking care of everyone else that I completely ignored my own needs. I thought I was being selfless but, in reality, I was doing everyone a disservice by not showing up fully for myself. It wasn’t until I started making space to check in with my own emotions that I realized I had been avoiding a lot of things that were holding me back. That moment of awareness was the first step toward real change, and I want to share with you how that shift in perspective can transform your own life.” – From Episode 2 of the Take Back Your Life podcast mini-series.

This personal story from our podcast sheds light on how powerful self-awareness can be. It’s a journey that will challenge you but also help you unlock your full potential.

Shifting from Avoidance to Conscious Choice

Being self-aware doesn’t mean letting our emotions run wild. It’s about creating space to understand what’s happening within us. When we avoid our emotions, it can lead to emotional and physical “dis-ease.” Instead, self-awareness encourages us to ask ourselves, “Am I choosing to set aside these feelings temporarily, knowing I’ll revisit them, or am I just avoiding them altogether?”

This conscious choice to address our needs empowers us to show up authentically for others. When we’re clear about our emotions, we not only feel better but also become more stable and open with those around us.

Moving Through Self-Judgment

One major roadblock to self-awareness is the critical inner voice that judges and shames us. We often hold rigid “shoulds” about who we are, feeling ashamed of our emotions and avoiding them. Judgment and shame lose their power when we bring curiosity to them. Instead of assuming a thought is true, we can ask, “Is this really accurate?” This approach transforms self-awareness from a painful process to a path of growth and self-compassion.

Finding Support and Building Trust

Self-awareness isn’t always a solo journey. Leaning on trusted friends or mentors who respect and understand us can help. Having someone to be vulnerable with provides a mirror that helps us see ourselves with compassion. Building this kind of trust takes time, but it’s invaluable when we need gentle accountability or encouragement.

Practical Tools for Cultivating Self-Awareness

  • Journaling: Writing down our thoughts allows us to slow down and view our feelings with a fresh perspective. Journaling helps us process emotions, recognize patterns, and make intentional choices.
  • Checking in with Our Inner Child: Often, our inner child—the part of us that holds unmet needs—takes control when we’re stressed. Recognizing this part of ourselves can help us respond constructively rather than react impulsively. Acknowledging our inner child’s needs with kindness allows us to approach situations with maturity.
  • Practicing Selfness Over Selfishness: Selfishness satisfies immediate desires, often at others’ expense. “Selfness,” by contrast, is about honoring our needs and values in a balanced way. Knowing what matters to us helps us show up for ourselves without disregarding others.

Embracing Self-Awareness to Show Up Authentically

Self-awareness is a lifelong practice, but every step toward it enriches our lives. By acknowledging our needs and making conscious choices, we find freedom within ourselves and bring more presence to our relationships. When we show up fully for ourselves, we’re better able to show up for those we love.

**This blog post is inspired by the transcript of our second episode in the Take Back Your Life podcast mini-series, “Embracing Self-Awareness: Why Being Present with Ourselves Helps Us Show Up for Others.” 🎧 You’ll be so glad you tuned in! In this episode, we’re diving into why self-awareness is such a crucial tool for personal growth, true accountability, and building the kind of trust that transforms our relationships.

We had an absolute blast recording this episode, and we can’t wait for you to listen! It’s packed with insights that will help you explore self-awareness in ways you may not have considered before, and we hope you’ll feel inspired to take action.

🎧 Ready to dive in? Listen to Episode 2 here!

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