Since I just got married, it probably won’t surprise you to hear that marriage prep and relationship building have been very top of mind for me lately.
So much so, we turned it into a podcast series.
In the weeks leading up to our wedding—and now in the early days of building this new life together—I’ve been thinking deeply about what makes a strong, lasting, joy-filled marriage. And not just in theory, but in the daily, real-life practice of loving someone, managing life stress, navigating expectations, and creating something eternal… together.
Whether you’re engaged, newly married, or even just dreaming of that big day, this blog is for you.
Here are some of the most powerful lessons we’ve been learning and sharing:
Don’t Lose Sight of the Why
When you’re planning a wedding, it’s easy to get swept up in logistics: flowers, outfits, RSVPs, who’s sitting next to Aunt Kathy. But the most important thing isn’t the celebration—it’s the covenant. The eternal covenant you’re about to make.
During our engagement, Matt and I made a deliberate effort to stay grounded in that bigger picture. We even took on Wendy Watson Nelson’s challenge to sacrifice time every day for 21 days to temple and family history work. That sacred time helped us focus on the why of what we were doing—not just the what.
And let me tell you, when the wedding stress hit hard (and oh, it did), that grounding made all the difference.
Your Real Wedding Gift? Agency + Accountability
If I could wrap up one thing and give it to every engaged couple, it would be this: the gift of mutual agency and accountability.
That means:
- Taking ownership for your own thoughts, feelings, and reaction.
- Letting your partner be their own full, whole person.
- And being intentional about how you both show up.
Matt and I both brought a lot of relationship history into this new beginning. We’ve had to unlearn some patterns, get real about triggers, and practice saying things like,
“Hey, I’m feeling a little reactive right now. Can we come back to this later?”
or
“I’m sorry I showed up that way. That’s not who I want to be.”
It’s not always graceful. But it is real. And it builds trust.
Make Time for Friendship
Here’s the thing: your spouse is supposed to be your best friend. But friendship doesn’t just happen. It takes effort, even when you’re “in love.”
With all the logistics of wedding planning and combining families (we’ve got seven girls between us!), it became even more important to intentionally make time for fun. From long-distance game nights on Board Game Arena to quick evening walks when we’re together, we’ve learned that little moments of joy go a long way.
You’re not just building a marriage—you’re building a love story. And stories need laughter, adventure, and shared memory-making.
Marriage is a Context for Discipleship
Ty Mansfield said, “Marriage is a context for discipleship,” and that’s become one of my guiding mantras.
It’s easy to think of marriage as a reward or a finish line. But really, it’s a workshop—a deeply personal, sacred place to become more like Christ.
Sometimes that looks like offering grace when you want to withdraw.
Sometimes it’s choosing to repair after conflict rather than defend.
And sometimes it’s letting go of your need to be right so you can be connected.
We don’t do it perfectly. But every day, we try.
Want a Strong Start? Start with These 2 Tools
We want to give you the same support we’ve used in our own relationship—and that we offer to our clients and podcast listeners:
✨ Couples Council Guide – $0.99
A simple, weekly check-in structure that helps you talk through what’s working, what’s not, and what you need. This one practice can prevent so much miscommunication and build emotional safety from day one.
➡️ Download the Couples Council Guide
✨ Intimacy Map Worksheet – $0.99
A creative, connection-building exercise that helps you explore emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy with your partner in a way that’s fun, respectful, and deeply connecting.
➡️ Download the Intimacy Map Worksheet
Start with one, or both. Just start.
Listen In: The “Before & After I Do” Podcast Series
We’ve put together a 3-part podcast series full of real talk, practical tools, and Christ-centered encouragement. Listen in to hear more about each of these topics and how they play out in real life:
🎙️ Episode 1 – Before & After “I Do”: Laying a Foundation for a Christ-Centered Marriage
🎙️ Episode 2 – After “I Do”: The Sacred (and Sometimes Messy) Middle
🎙️ Episode 3 – Before & After “I Do”: Becoming One
🎙️ Bonus Episode – Sacred and Sexy: Understanding Intimacy as a Covenant Gift
➡️ Listen to the full series here
If You Know Someone Getting Married…
Send this blog their way. Or better yet, send them the link to the podcast or the $0.99 guides.
You don’t have to be perfect to have a great marriage.
You just have to keep showing up. With intention. With faith. With love.
You’ve got this. And we’ve got you.
— Natasha (& Tonya)
Whole Happy Free
✨ Live a life you love to live ✨
