December tends to be a mixed bag of heightened emotions. On the one hand, there is the magic of Christmas—the lights, the music, the smells, the laughter. The joy of anticipation and the peace that comes with the reminder that the Savior of the World was born in humble circumstances to fulfill all prophecies and redeem mankind. And, on the other hand, comes the grief of loss, the frustration of unmet expectations, and the pain of disconnection at a time when connection seems to be the theme of the month. If you are like most people whom I see in my office during December, it is so easy to lose the meaning and the depth of our important relationships when we are chasing around the excitement of all the “to-do’s.”
It is interesting to me how easily good intentions get lost around the Christmas season. If I were to oversimplify things, I would place our actions during December into one of two categories: building connection or chasing counterfeit connection. I mean, if you think about all the Christmas stories, songs, and movies, it is ALL about connection. Connection to God, to humankind, to the best version of ourselves, to each other. We typically want desperately to connect and make lasting memories that bring that yuletide warmth. And yet, I know I have been found guilty of getting so stressed in trying to create the perfect moment that I make the “moment” more important than the people I’m trying to create it for.
One of my favorite Christmas stories that was read to me every December, and which I now read to my children every year, is about a family who lost everything. One of the children speaks about how their mother died earlier that year after being sick for so long. Then, that fall, a fire burned down their barn and, with it, their whole livelihood. Their father sat them down on Christmas Eve and told them that he didn’t have any physical gifts to give them for Christmas. However, he shared with them the Christmas story of the Christ child, born in Bethlehem. The children felt the awe, reverence, and peace that their father felt as he reverently told a sacred story and shared his heart. Those children remembered that Christmas Eve their whole lives, and were better for it.
I know we hear these stories, and it tends to motivate wanting to have that same kind of experience in our homes with the people we hold most dear. This yearning is often the catalyst for the best well-prepared lessons, service projects, treats, and activities. While these are all good things, how do we guard against those things leading us to counterfeit connection? I propose the answer lies with clearer sight.
Take a moment to consider this question: if the people you hold most dear were to look back at this December five years from now, what would you want them to remember the most? Take a minute and write that vision down, keep it somewhere where you will see it often.
I have the following quote in my homeschool room at my house, “All else should pale in comparison to our quest toward honor, virtue, and wisdom. Nurture the soul!” (Sarah Mackenzie, Teaching from Rest).
It is my prayer that we can all slow down, nurture the soul, and intentionally build connection this season. I also pray that we can quickly notice and redirect when we start chasing down that counterfeit connection. I hope that Christmas brings the warmth and magic to your soul that ignites lasting memories and deeper love. It may not be easy, yet I promise it will be worth it.
Merry Christmas!
Tonya & Natasha
P.S. Did you know that Tonya and I created an EASY way to intentionally create a daily, meaningful connection with your partner? Check out our Christmas Challenge Calendar! It’s full of simple and quick ideas to deepen your love and keep the momentum going. End the year strong. You’ve got this!
