In our ongoing series about the stories we tell ourselves, we’ve delved into the origins of our narratives and how they often stem from a place of self-protection. But what happens when we realize that these stories no longer serve us? How do we go about changing them?
If we take a closer look at the brain, we’ll find that the neural connections between events and the stories we’ve created have been reinforced over the years. Each time we’ve had a thought or interaction that aligned with our story, it’s like adding another layer to a grand canyon of data input and flow. Our brains naturally gravitate towards familiar patterns, making it challenging to break free from old narratives.
Changing our story requires intentional work. It’s not a switch that can be flipped overnight. We need to actively engage with our new narrative and reassure our brains that this new path is worth exploring. Imagine having a conversation with yourself, acknowledging the old story, expressing gratitude for its protective function, and then gently guiding yourself towards the new narrative.
For example, if we take inspiration from “Dear Evan Hansen,” it might look something like this: “Self, I understand why you’ve believed for so long that it’s safer to stay silent than to risk rejection. I appreciate the protection you’ve provided. But now, I have the tools and resources to navigate these risks differently. I’m building a support network that values me for who I am, and I’m learning that rejection says more about others than it does about my worthiness.”
This process of reaffirming the new story requires consistency and repetition. We need to intentionally input the new narrative into our lives whenever possible, pairing it with everyday activities to strengthen its presence in our minds. By engaging our senses and being fully present in the moment, we create a more immersive experience of the new narrative.
With time and dedication, the new story becomes more natural and ingrained in our way of thinking. We begin to see the world through its lens, interpreting events and organizing our thoughts within its framework.
So, if you’re on a journey to create a new story for yourself, remember to be patient and persistent. You have the power to rewrite your narrative and transform your life.
You’ve got this.
Natasha
